Em-
Wow. There are no words to describe how amazing it felt over six years ago to have you handed to me in that hospital room. I never realized how beautiful life was until I laid my eyes on you for the first time and every second since. You and I we went through so much together. Someone told me before you were born that nobody knows what love truly is until they have that of a child's, I never understood it until I felt the warmth of your little body.
I remember listening to a voicemail of the first time you said "Dada" when I was in South Carolina, how I cried in the courtyard of the barracks and listened to it a dozen times in a row. As you grow I can not help but want to cling to the past while embracing who you are becoming. Everyday you're getting bigger, smarter, more handsome and everyday my heart glows brighter because of you. You saved my life.
I love your mind most of all. Your heart is so big and generous, I am overjoyed to call you mine. That day we went to spend alone time together, I told you we could go to the park, the game store, the mall anywhere for whatever you wanted to do. You said to me that all you wanted to do was go find Abby a card to make her feel better because she was at home sad that day.
My favorite thing is to watch you create. Your mind works in such amazing ways from the way you become so totally engrossed in a drawing of two slightly different Batmen with "See The difrins" written on top or when I'm writing a book with you about ninjas on pirate ships fighting dinosaurs. Listening to the way you tell stories melts me every time. You're such a good big brother to Bunny, you teach him things even things I wish you wouldn't, but that is what big brothers do.
My favorite thing is to watch you create. Your mind works in such amazing ways from the way you become so totally engrossed in a drawing of two slightly different Batmen with "See The difrins" written on top or when I'm writing a book with you about ninjas on pirate ships fighting dinosaurs. Listening to the way you tell stories melts me every time. You're such a good big brother to Bunny, you teach him things even things I wish you wouldn't, but that is what big brothers do.
When I first saw you I realized finally what it felt like to be afraid to death of something. I'd been scared before, of course, a time or two I feared for my life, but nothing to the fear I had when I became a Daddy in 2007. Any pain you've ever felt, I've felt for nights afterward. In your eyes I see everything that has ever mattered to me. In your hugs and kisses I feel a love that truly is unconditional.
I say it to you all the time and I hope when you grow older you remember it, I hope that you cherish it and the meaning stays with you. Emery, you are my world entire. I love you.
-Me
Awww this is one of the best posts ever! I love it because of its honesty and purity. I tell Ava all the time I've done a lot in my life, but the one thing above all I was ever meant to be is her Mom. It is the hardest job I've even had, but the for every sleepless night or days running on empty or moments of worry when she has been sick for more than a day, and all the ups and downs we've faced, for all the hugs, kisses, cuddles, and every beautiful moment with her, it is worth it all. She is my world.
ReplyDelete