Keep Your Guard Up

Last night Emery and I sat on the porch, watching two little brown bats fly above our house.  They swooped and glided for half an hour or more.

"Do you think they are the big ones that drink blood, dad?"  he asked.

"Nope, not those.  Those guys up there just eat bugs."

He thought for a second, looking a little disappointed.

"Well, can we go live by the big ones someday?"

"Not me, they live down south around Mexico."  I said.

"Let's move to Mexico."

"It's too hot for me there, if I move anywhere it'll be farther north.  But if you grow up and move somewhere hot I'll definitely come visit some times.  Mexico, you think?"

He grinned.

"No.  You know where I'm going to live, dad?"  his eyes were amused, "guess.  You know where it is."

"I have no idea, Florida?  Chicago?"

"Sesame Street.  Can you tell me how?"

"Tell you how?"  I asked.  My question was genuine, I'd walked right into it.

"How to get to Sesame Street!"  He jumped up and down, laughing.  I'd just been punked by my six year old.

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Gunner has been trying to scare everyone in the house for the past two weeks.  Thank goodness he has cut down on his attempts lately because he would just lay down in the middle of the floor and cover his eyes and then roar with all of his might, even though you were talking to him as he laid down and put his hands over his eyes.  Today however, he finally got me good.  We had been play-fighting for a while in the afternoon, but it was time to stop because Mommy was going to be home soon so we had to pick up the mess from our household battle.

I sent him to his room with the toys that he'd brought out to the living room and told him to change out of his Robin outfit and he skipped back into the room.  Remarkably happy for a four year old being directed to clean up his room and cease being a superhero for the day, but I'm not one to pass up on a blessing when I get one so I took advantage and folded laundry before I had to worry about him asking to wear every shirt he saw.

About the time I got to the second to last article of clothing I noticed Bunny hadn't been back out to tell me that he was done so I looked down the hall.  I could tell from my vantage point that he had cleaned already, but when I called his name he didn't answer.  When we first moved in to this house, Bunny realized that with the windows being so low in his room if they were open he could slide out of the hole in the middle window screen and land in the driveway.  That thought crossed my mind immediately and my pace picked up as I walked back there.

Bunny is really bad at hiding.  When he hides he giggles if he is actually hiding all the way, but most of the time he is only hiding his upper half.  I heard nothing.  I began to panic, looking in the closet, under the bed and then through the window.  I double checked, then triple checked.  No sign of him.

I started to head back toward the living room, when a blur flanked me from the right side.

"RAAAAAWR!"  he jumped out onto me from their bathroom.

I leapt into the hallway wall, "Jesus Christ!"

He laughed so hard I thought he was going to pass out, rolling on the floor, pointing at me.

"Ha ha ha!  I got you!  Ha ha ha!  I scared you, scaredy cat!  Ha ha ha!"

You know that baby laugh that kids resort to when they can not control their reaction?  I'd just been scared witless by a four year old.

You can never let your guard down around here. 

Except for Penny.  Good night!

Infamous Floss Incident

How I love productive days, the past couple have been extremely so.  We got the washer and dryer hooked up in our house finally, so no more willing laundromat robbery for this family.  A special thank you to Dina, Jason, and Nic for helping out with the dryer hook-up, seeing as I'm a newbie when it comes to gas fueled appliances.

My mom came up for a visit today and stayed for dinner.  She brought my sister's kids (Liam and Lilly) with her, always a wonderful time to see them.  The boys took care of Liam so well.  My heart melted watching them play with him, love on him, and feed him.  They are both excited to be big brothers, yet I have to admit my worries were that Bunny and Emery may not be able to adjust to a little baby so well.

Bad days will happen, of course, but to watch Bunny's adoration and gentle side come so natural around a baby is remarkable.  Emery, upon seeing that Liam was here, wanted to hold and feed him, the boys were incredibly patient with both.  I know in my heart that they will be fabulous older siblings, but witnessing the boys do boy things causes my knowledge to be overcome with dread at times.

A time like the one we have affectionately referred to as the "Floss Incident." The infamous day so ridiculous it has an official title.

Abby nudged me awake early in the morning and said that she could hear the boys sounding ornery in the living room, after a few more, harder nudges I rolled out of bed and walked to the door.  I opened it and looked down, I had to rub my eyes really hard a few times to make sure that I was seeing correctly.  Yep.

That was floss suspended across the bottom of my doorway at about shin height.

Not just a single string though.  Six.  Maybe eight.  I looked left into the boys room where the strands seemed to originate from.  Following the minty trail I discovered that the floss did not start in their room, it was wrapped, wrapped, and wrapped some more across each of their beds.  So I doubled back through the hallway to see where the floss went.

At this point, Abby, probably hearing the "Oh my goodnesses" and "Holy shits" I was muttering, called out to me.

"Honey?" she said, "honey, what's wrong?"

"I. . .I," there were no real words coming out of my mouth, only stunned consonants,"you've gotta. . . Jesus Christ. . ."

The living room looked like Spiderman had a seizure on a merry-go-round.  Over a hundred and fifty yards of dental floss tied and twisted over, under, through, and around each piece of furniture from wall to wall.  The culprits, standing in the underwear in the middle of their creation, held each other staring at us.  For an infinite second nothing could be said.  We stared at them.  They stared at us.

We're not friends anymore, Peter Parker.

I had horrific visions of my childhood; making soda pop grenades with my brothers and cousins, surfing down the stairs, destroying steel chairs and then "hiding" them up in trees, skating in the house, holding Royal Rumbles for the championship in our living room before mom got home from work.  I saw all of those things and more.  And then my real life vision came back.

I saw payback, in all of its light green, waxy, mint-flavored glory turning our apartment into a maze of string. I felt a bite.  On my ass.  It was karma.

Sorry, mom.

Anyone reading this that has multiple children I would love to hear how your children adapted to a newborn if you feel like sharing in the comments section.  I think if you don't have a Google+ account there is a little drop box that you can choose the "Anonymous" user to be able to write something.

Good night!

Books, Books, and Paper People

It's been a few days.  A busy few days, strange how they creep up on you sometimes.  Abby had to work long hours over the weekend, I don't know how she does it, but she is certainly one of a kind.  I'm very lucky.  Being as we only have one car, my options with the kids become limited to walking distance when she has to pull shifts like that and as my fellow Illinoisans know this past weekend was a scorcher on Friday and Saturday.

We stayed very busy, though. Friday the boys helped me compile a Big Brother photo book for Elsa's arrival and as a gift for Mommy. First I picked about thirty pictures and then had Gunner choose the twenty or so that would make it into the book.  I arranged them and then Emery helped me write all the words throughout the book.  They both thought it would be awesome to help write a book for their baby sister so that they could help read it to her at bedtime, their pride in the finished product shone through in their smiles when they finally saw it.

Saturday we worked on books some more.  I bought a bunch of construction paper, a binder, and some markers and the boys decided they wanted to draw holiday pictures for Abby.  Watching their minds work is a miracle in itself.  My original idea was for them to draw their Eelooz people again.  Eelooz is an app I found for Emery a few months ago that a guy made for his daughter.  It is essentially a bare minimum version of a Giga-Pet that were so popular forever ago, I thought the idea was pretty cool, so when we lived at the apartment we made Eelooz people together.

I think I included some pictures of the Eelooz before, but I'll repost them on this blog when I find them.  The boys really loved doing it, they made their own little people and houses for them. They made places for their Eelooz to visit like an Eelooz park, lake, school and we tacked them up to the dining room wall.  The houses started out as just one piece of construction paper for each of them that they were allowed to design their own furnishings on.  It was tremendously fun to watch Bunny tell me why his SuperEeloozMan needed a rope in the middle of his living room (because he needs to swing into action, duh!) and Emery's meticulous detail to GirlieLooz's wardrobe closet which featured superhero costumes, dresses, boots, and swords sticking out of the door.

The Eelooz idea worked really well as a reward for good behavior, too.  The boys would do extra chores just to be able to add another room to their houses, before long they had eight papers per house, three places to visit, Eelooz pets, and an Eelooz operating table (Bunny was a little rough to his first SuperEeloozMan, so Dr. Eelooz had to tape his leg back on a couple of times).

Quick funny story about this picture:

Abby, Bunny, and I went on a walk the other day and ended up at my brothers house.  We stopped by to chat for a bit and to take a breather on account of the heat.  As we began to leave, Bunny did the "squeeze-the-crotch" potty dance, telling us that he needed to go to the bathroom.  The walk is a decent stroll for a four year old, but impossible for a four year old with a full bladder, however we were kind of in a hurry, as it was nearing dinner time.  Bunny looked as if he were going to pop any second so we just told him to go around the corner and go potty.  Which brings us to this:

Yep.

Public pooping.

Bunny's explanation was simple, "you said go potty, so I went potty."

And with that, I bid you farewell. 

Good night!

What a Heart Looks Like on the Outside (Part II: Emery Michael)

 Em-

Wow.  There are no words to describe how amazing it felt over six years ago to have you handed to me in that hospital room.  I never realized how beautiful life was until I laid my eyes on you for the first time and every second since.  You and I we went through so much together.  Someone told me before you were born that nobody knows what love truly is until they have that of a child's, I never understood it until I felt the warmth of your little body.

I remember listening to a voicemail of the first time you said "Dada" when I was in South Carolina, how I cried in the courtyard of the barracks and listened to it a dozen times in a row.  As you grow I can not help but want to cling to the past while embracing who you are becoming.  Everyday you're getting bigger, smarter, more handsome and everyday my heart glows brighter because of you.  You saved my life.

I love your mind most of all.  Your heart is so big and generous, I am overjoyed to call you mine. That day we went to spend alone time together, I told you we could go to the park, the game store, the mall anywhere for whatever you wanted to do. You said to me that all you wanted to do was go find Abby a card to make her feel better because she was at home sad that day.

My favorite thing is to watch you create.  Your mind works in such amazing ways from the way you become so totally engrossed in a drawing of two slightly different Batmen with "See The difrins" written on top or when I'm writing a book with you about ninjas on pirate ships fighting dinosaurs.  Listening to the way you tell stories melts me every time.  You're such a good big brother to Bunny, you teach him things even things I wish you wouldn't, but that is what big brothers do.

When I first saw you I realized finally what it felt like to be afraid to death of something.  I'd been scared before, of course, a time or two I feared for my life, but nothing to the fear I had when I became a Daddy in 2007.  Any pain you've ever felt, I've felt for nights afterward.  In your eyes I see everything that has ever mattered to me.  In your hugs and kisses I feel a love that truly is unconditional.

I say it to you all the time and I hope when you grow older you remember it, I hope that you cherish it and the meaning stays with you.  Emery, you are my world entire.  I love you.

Forever Yours,

-Me

What a Heart Looks Like on the Outside (Part I: Gunner Harrison)

Bunny-

Hey, buddy.  It melts my heart each and every time you run up calling my name just to give me a hug or kiss and I have nor will ever take it for granted.  An unexplained sense of awe washes over me when you look up into my eyes with your curious sapphires and tell me that I'm the strongest, bravest, and best at whatever the subject matter.  When I first met you I was so very nervous, I'll admit.  Our first night together went surprisingly smooth, for us at least, you even told me to make sure I cuddled with you after I read you your nighttime story.

I love our nights with Emery when I get to be Bane or Killer Croc.  Emery is always Batman because he is bigger and older and you are Robin because you are smaller and you "like to be."  Usually, we move the couch around and dim the lights on Fridays and the three of us watch some sort of crazy guy movie, eating pizza in the living room like we're not supposed to.  But, hey, as you and your brother always say,"we're just dudes being dudes on dude nights."

I hope that you never feel that I love you any less because we do not share the same blood, but here's a little secret. . .no amount of blood will ever replace a heart.  After all, you have mine wrapped in your little superhero, adventurer, pirate, ninja hands.  My luck is astounding to have been blessed with such beautiful, strong and smart, wonderful little boys to look up to me.  To squeeze me.  To yell for me to come make sure the monsters are out of their closet.

My favorite things about you start with your curiosity, a thirst for knowledge so unquenchable that I often find myself thinking and researching so much with you.  I love your compassion for your family, how thoughtful you are to Mommy, Emery, Elsa and I. You were the first person to pick out something for your baby sister.  She is going to have the best big brothers in the world, I know it.

I cherish so much more like how you take things so literal ("Why are you cooking my baby sister in your belly, Mom?!?!") and your incredible ingenuity (the muscle suit under your shirt to impress the girls at school is still the best idea I've ever heard) and the limitlessness of your creative mind.  You amaze me everyday.  The joy you bring my life I can never repay you for, but I will never forget or neglect. Every night that you are with me I remind you how smart, handsome, brave, and important you are.  And I always will.  I love you.

 Yours Forever,

 Me

Satan Eating Jalapenos

That's how hot it is in my bedroom right now.

Today we visited the pool.  Emery was with his mom and attending a birthday party so Abby, Bunny, and I ventured to our new spot in Monticello.  If you are in the Central Illinois area (which I am sure most of you are) and you have kids I can't recommend the place enough.  Two weeks in a row we have gone there on Sunday, we are trying to make it a bit of a ritual.

Oh!  And did I mention that the air conditioning is out?

Elsa is growing and becoming quite the little dancer in her mommy's belly.  The reality of her arriving soon is really hitting me a lot lately, the butterflies and anticipation is growing by the day.  I dream about her, how beautiful she will be.  I watch other dads I know that have little girls and there was always a bit of jealousy in me because I thought for a long, long time that I was not having anymore kids.

Grandma is the thuggest one, don't forget it.

Whenever Abby and I got together she obviously already had Bunny, I was excited about having another little one around.  Em loves having a little brother in Gunner and Bunny calls Em his "bestest friend EVER" (just like that, pause then shout the ever).  Ever since Em turned three, I started off and on wanting another child. More for Emery than myself at first.  I come from a decent sized family, I'm the oldest of five.  My siblings (Nic, Timmy, Cera and Cory) are the best friends I could have ever asked for, as my son grew older I realized how much he was missing out on with him being an only child.

So then my slight baby fever should have been over last year, right?

That's what I thought, but in reality it wasn't.  Abby and I both experienced the fever strongly around the holidays and talked at length so many nights about how beautiful a baby girl would be added to our family. . .except that we used the word "someday" in there.  As in someday we would make a beautiful baby girl, but we agreed that we were still too new and wanting to be more stable financially and in a house before we even tried.

However, as you know by now, that was not to be.  A non-related, non-threatening hospital visit for Abby in the early part of the year unintentionally revealed that SURPRISE, baby fever turned into a real baby.  Completely stunned and a bit scared, we left the hospital and headed home.  Not often in my life have I ever been jaw-droppingly shocked, but that day is absolutely one of those days.

Anyway, I'm rambling.  Sorry the TV is on and I'm worn out.  My attention span is that of a. . . . . .  I'll be more coherent tomorrow.  In parting. . .

. . .tough lookin' dudes!

Zzzzzzz

The boys have the right idea.

Sometimes daddy's get too tired to blog.  Check back tomorrow!

The Best Fish Name Ever!!!

Really missing Emery today.  He's only been gone since Monday, but I'm already looking forward to Friday when I get him for a night again.  Summer is going by too soon.

I forgot a large part of our family here (all puns intended if you know who I'm talking about) and two newcomers to the gang as well.  First, the senior of the house, Penny the beagle.  She is 11 years and is currently retired from most things considered "canine."  Her responsibilities around the house are to ensure that a nap can be taken on any surface at any given time, she helps make sure everything that is edible is eaten as swiftly as possible, and sometimes barks at the raccoons that live in the trees behind our house.  She sounds pretty tough so long as they do not actually show themselves, in which case she immediately bolts back to the door.  At first I thought she was afraid of them, but now I'm positive she is faking sleep so that she can ambush the raccoons if they break in.

Our newest additions to the household are our second generation of goldfish.  The first pair passed away before the move, but last weekend I took the boys out to find new ones.  Gunner's fish is the black one you probably can't see and his fish is named either Batman or Nightwing depending on the day, both of which are fitting I believe.  Emery had a really hard time deciding on a definitive name, it came down to a tough choice. Gunner (or Bunny as he is known affectionately here) knew right away that his new friend would have alternating names, no matter the fact that I told him he might confuse Batman/Nightwing, Em labored over the pressure in the store and on the way to the car.


"Dad, I'm thinking it should be Sparky."

"Okay, Sparky's cool."

*Looking carefully at his swimmy pet*

"No, no, he's says that's not right.  Maybe Smarty?" Em continued, "Cuz my fish is so smart and has a big brain."


"Yeah that makes sense to me, Em."

Bunny also thought that Smarty should be the winner, after all how cool is it to have a fish with intelligence?  I strapped my dynamic duo in and we began to pull out of the parking lot to go surprise Abby with roses and the new fish when Em yelled "DAD!!!" as if I'd just backed over an old lady pushing a stroller.  My heart stopped as I halted the car and spun to see what I was hitting.  Nothing.

Just Em looking proud and holding his fish up toward my panicked face, while Bunny, clearly in the know, smiled and nodded his head telling his older brother "good name, M'ree."

"Dancin' Man."  Em said.

"What?  What are you talking about?"

"That's his name, my fish, is Dancin' Man."


I started to say something in my stern and fatherly, don't-scare-the-shit-outta-Daddy-while-he's-driving voice, but any paternal scolding power I had was neutralized instantly by Bunny's admiration for the name and Em's hopeful eyes searching for my opinion on the name.  I was incapable to do anything except smile and say,

"Dancin' Man is the best name for a fish I've ever heard, buddy."

Pleased to Meet You

At the encouragement of my fiancee, I have decided to start journalling online and out in the open about what all I do as a stay-at-home Daddy on a day to day basis.  

For starters, my name is Randy as you can probably already see.  I'm going to keep this entry brief because I don't feel well.  Perhaps this is not the most interesting day to start this, but what the hell?  Anyway, I am newly turned 28 and am currently willfully unemployed.  My fiancee, Abby, and I decided back in September of last year that instead of her and I both working and losing money to babysitters, I should stay at home and become a full time student.

Abby is a bartender and makes more than enough to maintain us comfortably.  She is an amazing woman, the love of my life and my biggest supporter.  She also likes to throw firecrackers while I'm on the computer to scare the beejeesus out of me.  Any and all suggestions for retribution can be left in the comment box below, thanks ahead of time :).

I am a veteran of the Army and am currently using my GI Bill to pursue a degree in the fine art of the English language.  By using my GI Bill, I mean that I have been attending school since September and am still waiting on some unnamed source in Muskogee, Oklahoma to hand another anonymous person a piece of paper so that my school bills quit piling up (that's a whole other rant I wanna save for later).

Currently, along with pursuing higher education, I am also writing and publishing my first book.  Exciting, right?  I have written stories, lyrics, scripts, poetry, and fantasy wars between food groups for as long as I knew how to write sentences.  The first book, which I won't give out any juicy details quite yet, is a collection of poems and stories by me and some illustrations by my brother, Nic.  

Lastly, and most important, I am a stay at home Daddy.  My son, Emery, lived full time with me from 2008 when he was 15 months old to last summer when he turned five.  His mom and I agreed to switch the living arrangements when he started kindergarten, but I get him as often as I can have him.  Even more in the summer and during the holidays.  My life didn't really start until  my little man came into this world six years ago.

Abby's son, Gunner, lives here with us all the time.  Gunner may not be mine in blood, but he certainly has me by the heart.  Our days as a pair are filled with bug hunts, forest exploration and the fine craft of cooking.  The days when Em is here to complete the trio are my favorite albeit trying at times.  We have superhero fights, dinosaur digs, and sports days.  Both of my boys are my world entire.  Except. . .


We've got a baby on the way!  Our little corner of the world will be completed in September when Abby and I have our daughter, Elsa Janice (pronounced Jah-neese, not Jan-iss).  I am overwhelmed internally by becoming a new Daddy again, but I play it pretty cool on the outside.  Never really did I dream of having a daughter.  I've watched and helped raise nieces.  My anticipation is on the rise here lately as summer's end draws near, I'm going to begin painting and organizing her room in the next few weeks.

I do believe I have rambled enough for an introductory post.  Most likely, I will do further introductions to more of the people near and dear to me as the posts are posted.  The idea of doing this is really appealing, so hopefully you come check back tomorrow night.  Stay classy.