A Talk With Mr. Pendleton

There's no aliens here, cept you know. But that's everywhere in this country now, thank you libs. Are you a Democrat? Wouldn't surprise me if you was, being a creative type and all. 

That's fine, that's fine. I'm not hardcore one way or the other. I don't know what I am. Can't say I know for certain much of anything cept there's no aliens here and Freddy Duke is a drunk. Did he tell you he still drinks? Probably he was drunk when you talked to him. 

That son of a floozy grew up just like we all knew he would. He had it all in high school just like his mom did. Nobody knows who his dad was, hell JoAnn Duke probably don't know. It's not just me. The more people you ask the more you'll see. 

I took her to prom back in 1992. That was my senior year and she was a sophomore. Damn. 

I've not thought of that in a long, long time. She looked so dang pretty, let me tell you. Outside of the day I married my wife, I never seen someone so pretty. Jo had her dark hair all curly, a peach dress that come off the one shoulder like this. 

She probably weighed more then, have you seen her now? She don't look healthy. She is a fierce twig of a woman now, but that's what a life like that will do. 

I had a crush on her before then and I told myself that if she went with me to the dance that I'd ask her to be my girlfriend. So pretty, man. She could've had a different life, you know?

It's funny how people get themselves down in the dumps about where they're at or better yet, where they ain't. I mean sure her story sounds sad and all, single mom her junior year and a dropout the year after. But she never really tried after she got knocked up with that little curse. She just kept drinking and laying down with anybody. Don't sound like someone that really wants to change themself. 

I feel responsible a little. No, no. I never slept with her. I wanted to till she run out on me that night at prom. She said she was going to the bathroom, but she ducked out with RJ Lawler. There's a scumbag you ought to talk to. RJ Lawler, I think he's on his fifth wife now. Forget him though, I'm telling a story. But I think what if? Maybe I'd not have my wife now, maybe I'd a never married Jo, maybe all she needed was me at that point and she chose different. 

Twenty plus years man and still I think about this, her. That's got to mean something. 

But no, there's no aliens here. Freddy Duke is a drunkard and a killer. He's no damn orator. The only things he sees he needs whiskey to see. And that's all I need to tell you. 

I Am Not That Person Anymore

 Along the side of a country road I found a pair of leather gloves. No. There was nothing special about them. Just some gloves I happened to notice driving by. I knew exactly what they were the instant I spotted them. 

For some reason I felt inclined to stop and so I did and for that reason I guess you can say there was something special about them. Why did I notice them?

Well, my friend, I think they call that fate. I parked my car right over there and got out and walked back. I came up on them and crouched down like so. Touched the one, the right handed one, I don't know why I remember such a detail. Weird what you remember, huh? I'd bet there's a reason to that too. 

Anyway, I'd just picked it up and that's when I heard the first noise. It was, I don't know, like a zippy gunshot. 

Ziiii-akkk! Ziiii-akkk!

I rolled right over on them gloves. Hit the ground flat. Whatever it was flew right by me. Right over me. 

Phsheww!

Don't know what would've happened if I'd have been standing. I don't believe I'd be here right now, that's for sure. They'll tell you that the holes in my car were from a shotgun. They'll tell you I had a horrible drinking problem back then. They'll say that I'm the only one who talks about this and so why believe me?

I guess they got a point, but why don't you listen to what I'm telling you and the way I'm saying it. This isn't about the gloves, man. This isn't about who I was then. 

They're here. 

They were here and they chose me. I didn't think I was the person to do this. Be a liaison between species? Wow. My mom would've been surprised. 

So yeah. That's why I come out here like this every night. When you ask them about me, use my old name. They don't know me as The Orator. 

Freddy Duke. 

That's all you'll hear about when you talk to them, Freddy Duke. I am not that person anymore. You cannot judge my word now on Freddy Duke's actions.

Remember, I'm the Orator.